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Originally Posted by MattyC
I think a problem is that some people can't read these, or read something that might seem like an invitation but likely isn't.
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I doubt it. I am pretty sure the typical rapist is very positive they are crossing lines. There is no invitation, I am unsure what you mean.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MattyC
An example I would use is dancing at a club. The style of dance almost always involves some form of grinding and/or overtly sexual touching. A person purposely rubbing their crotch on your crotch is likely a good indication that you may be getting lucky in almost any other circumstance. But here, it's just dancing and it may or may not be an invitation.
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Uh, gross?
Quote:
Originally Posted by MattyC
Now, generally there are many steps between the dance floor and a suitable place for sex where more cues should take place. I'm not saying grinding is a green light, just that I can see where intimate settings like that can cause confusion for the socially inept. Even in a situation like this, Kane invites girl to his house after a night of dancing and she not only agrees but brings a friend. She might be thinking "I'll bring a friend to make sure nothing happens" he might be thinking "effing rights threewayyyyy".
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He is certainly thinking he hopes he gets lucky, but if she refuses him, he knows he is out of luck.
There is NO connection between behaviour on a dance floor in a bar and what happens after the bar. Consent is not obtained while dancing via an act that is not sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MattyC
The step taken that ends up with one person raping another, I have no idea how that train of thought actually enters one's head, and I suspect not even the rapists do (because I think most would agree in here that the rapist often doesn't view what they're doing as a problem). In the case of someone dancing provocatively with you all night and then agreeing to come back to your place and then winding up not wanting to go through with it for whatever reason, I can see where confusion and/or anger might set in. But I fail to see how anyone can think that the next logical step should be "do it anyways". It's like trying to understand what makes someone snap and shoot a bunch of strangers.
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I am unsure why you are trying to walk someone through how a rape can take place by accident? A rape is on purpose, the rapist is aware, they simply are not taking no as an answer for an assortment of reasons.
I doubt many people support the fact that rapists simply are misunderstood.
Can we please stop trying to justify how someone can be an accidental rapist?