Ugh that sucks... I feel your pain. My guy had a really aggressive cancer too and I had to put him down when he wasn't even 6 yet.
The cancer was traumatizing and for a while it's the only memories I could associate with him which was really awful, but eventually you'll start remembering the good times as well. It'll take a while, especially when you're conditioned to look at her favorite spots in the house for her, but it does get better.
Unfortunately there's not going to be much of a consolation you can give your wife/daughter other than support... hell I'm in my mid 30's and still have "how!?!?/why!!?!?" questions about cancer.
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