Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community - View Single Post - Crazy predictions for the Flames next year?

Jay Random · 07-08-2015, 12:45 AM

The super dooper hyper analytics crowd discovers a new metric that absolutely accounts for 100% of results in the game: the TwizzleRuth stat. Yes, it turns out that wins and losses in the NHL can be perfectly predicted based on the ratio of Twizzlers to Baby Ruth bars sold at the concessions during the game.

Johnny Gaudreau wins the Art Ross trophy with 104 points. Connor McDavid finds himself relegated to fourth-line duty for much of the season, and scores just 16 points as a rookie. Oiler fans show up on CP to brag that McDavid is visually better than Gaudreau, and predict that their team will win six Stanley Cups in a row, starting real soon now. The CP servers melt under the strain.

The Flames go 57-17-8, advance to the Stanley Cup finals, and lose a nailbiter in Game 7 to Columbus. The game is decided on a freak non-call, as a disputed goal is referred to the war room in Toronto, but everybody there has snuck out to smoke a joint and nobody bothers to make a ruling on the play.

Since Baby Ruth bars are not sold in Canada, the TwizzleRuth index predicts that the Flames should have had a winning percentage of .000. Stats fiends point to their Game 7 SCF loss as proof that their record is totally unsustainable, and boldly predict that they will never win another game until Nestle begins marketing Baby Ruth in Canada. Lambert agrees.

07-08-2015, 12:45 AM	#87
Jay Random Franchise Player Join Date: Aug 2005 Exp:	The super dooper hyper analytics crowd discovers a new metric that absolutely accounts for 100% of results in the game: the TwizzleRuth stat. Yes, it turns out that wins and losses in the NHL can be perfectly predicted based on the ratio of Twizzlers to Baby Ruth bars sold at the concessions during the game. Johnny Gaudreau wins the Art Ross trophy with 104 points. Connor McDavid finds himself relegated to fourth-line duty for much of the season, and scores just 16 points as a rookie. Oiler fans show up on CP to brag that McDavid is visually better than Gaudreau, and predict that their team will win six Stanley Cups in a row, starting real soon now. The CP servers melt under the strain. The Flames go 57-17-8, advance to the Stanley Cup finals, and lose a nailbiter in Game 7 to Columbus. The game is decided on a freak non-call, as a disputed goal is referred to the war room in Toronto, but everybody there has snuck out to smoke a joint and nobody bothers to make a ruling on the play. Since Baby Ruth bars are not sold in Canada, the TwizzleRuth index predicts that the Flames should have had a winning percentage of .000. Stats fiends point to their Game 7 SCF loss as proof that their record is totally unsustainable, and boldly predict that they will never win another game until Nestle begins marketing Baby Ruth in Canada. Lambert agrees. __________________ WARNING: The preceding message may not have been processed in a sarcasm-free facility.