[Locke]

This goes here methinks.

There are those who would have you believe that "United Passions," the sickeningly sweet FIFA-funded biopic of itself is a disgusting piece of propaganda for a discredited regime, utterly lacking in merit. This is not true. It is a disgusting piece of propaganda for a discredited regime, but actor Tim Roth has absolutely nailed Sepp Blatter.

Aside from everything you've read elsewhere -- the revisionism, the omissions, the complete lack of respect for the intelligence of the viewer -- this is simply a terrible, terrible movie. The script reads like a high school musical penned by a particularly weird teacher. Jules Rimet's declaration of intent for "a World Championship" is followed by shouts of "A World Championship? He's mad!" "No!" says someone else. "He's a visionary!"

These are lines so cheesy that they can only be used to preface show tunes.

The English are clearly rotters to the core. At no time here are they presented as anything other than arrogant, xenophobic, sexist and just downright dastardly.

Rous tells Havelange that he'll never get anywhere, he laughs at him, and he does it all while swigging brandy. He's a monster. You suspect that in the director's cut, he's not drinking brandy at all. It's freshly squeezed kitten juice.

Jules Rimet puts up token opposition to his advances. "FIFA is poor," he says, "but that doesn't mean we will sell the one treasure we possess: honour."

"Please, don't misunderstand me," the diplomat says, smiling. "We don't want to buy anything. Let's just say ... we would be especially honoured to host this competition. We have unlimited funds, Mr. Rimet. Unlimited funds."

Now, call me crazy, but that sounds a bit like he's offering a bribe.

"We will play by my rules now," he says after warning a room full of seething executive committee suits to stop being so corrupt. Well, Sepp, how did that work out for you?

http://www.espnfc.com/fifa-world-cup...lm-is-terrible

I think I have to see this movie, it sounds hilariously bad. But I'm not going to pay for it.