[FlamesAddiction]

First of all, sorry for situation.

When I lost my mother, I was 20 years old and it was sudden and unexpected. It messed me up for a long time and I am not sire that I know a way to get through it other than to say as time goes on, you somehow do get through it. You never stop thinking about it (I don't think a day goes by that it doesn't cross my mind).

I lost my father back in 2013 to cancer. He was actually diagnosed the year after my mother died and was given a low survival chance at the time, but managed to hang on for almost 15 years. The last 2 or 3 years were full of so much pain though, that I felt sad but also relieved. The shock and grief from losing my mother wasn't there. With that one though, the I feel more guilt internally because there was a weight lifted.

One thing I would say is just be there if you can. A "few short weeks" isn't always accurate. My dad used to hide his pain really well, but about a week before he died I called him and he said that I should come. It was a really busy week at work, I live in the Toronto area and he lived near Winnipeg so I convinced myself it was no big deal to wait (he did the same thing a few months early and then felt better). Then I got a phone call from my sister who told me he was admitted into the hospital and didn't have long. The doctor said maybe a week or 2. I flew down the next day and was with him for a few hours. He was not completely conscious but was squeezing my hand and trying to talk, and I just kept telling him that he didn't need to say anything. He eventually went to sleep. I decided to go to his apartment to make sure there were no appliances on or food left out. Having not slept for like 2 days straight, I fell asleep for a few hours only to get woken by a phone call telling me that he had passed while I was gone. To this day, I wish I was there to help him while it happened and feel really guilty about it.