Quote:
Originally Posted by Yasa
It wasn't a trap. I wasn't trying to checkmate anybody. I was just honestly curious.
It seems to me that calling somebody the opposite gender is offensive because we tend to value societal standards. When a man is called a woman, the man is offended because they aren't being viewed as "manly", and women are offended because it's made to seem that women are inferior, or that being womanly is offensive enough to be an insult.
The same can be said when a woman is referred to as a man, as Peanut pointed out.
I've never really viewed either insult as an attack on the opposite gender as saying "being that gender is an insult," but rather an attack on that person not fitting the role they're trying to portray. Feeding into their insecurities, I suppose.
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Yup, I think you've hit on the fact that meaning is a matter of perspective.
If you were to call me gay, for example, I wouldn't be offended because being gay is bad, but I'd be annoyed because it's something I'm not (but could be seen as being by someone who didn't know better). So there's a threat to my identity there.
By contrast, if you were to call me black, I wouldn't be offended because being black is bad, and in fact wouldn't be offended at all because anyone looking at me would know I wasn't - my identity is never put in question.
If, on the other hand, you were to call me a girl, I wouldn't be offended because being a girl is bad, but I would be offended because your comment only makes sense as a shot at my masculinity - which is part of my identity.
Similarly, if you called a woman manly I would expect she'd be offended if she viewed femininity as part of her identity.
So the offensiveness of any "insult" cast on these sorts of bases not only depends on who the subject is, but who the subject believes him or herself to be.
And generally, these insults are designed to target their subject's identity: that's what makes them effective. They don't actually have to be premised on the "worseness" of the group the subject is said to belong to.
And yes, insults can be funny. But humour is in the eye of the beholder. That's why the first rule of comedy is "know your audience."
Sensitivity to the feelings of others is therefore not incompatible with comedy - in fact, it's necessary. But sensitivity to
everyone's feelings is not compatible with some forms of comedy, and certainly not insult comedy.
So, all that to say, if you're going to insult someone on the internet, make it funny for as many as possible, and understand a few might not take it so well.