Thread: Loneliness
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Old 02-08-2015, 07:27 PM   #48
FireFly
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Originally Posted by kn View Post
Thanks for responses. I'm fairly introverted and lack confidence in social situations. I've tried various groups on meetup.com but it's hard to make friends beyond the activity itself. I'll interact, talk, be polite, but I think my guard is up. Of course, in the moment, I never see it and wonder why I can never connect with anyone.

All I can think of is the phrase "coffee is for closers". I've never been able to close anything. I don't think I'm asking too much to have someone to grab a coffee or catch a Flames/NFL game once in a while.

Dating while lonely with no friends? I'm sure that's really attractive and my body language probably betrays me immediately.

I heard the morning crew on the Fan960 make fun of "life coaches" but maybe that's something to look into? Not sure...
If I'm reading between the lines, it sounds to me like when you go out your focus is on a girl to hang out with. I think you need to focus on finding a guy friend and a girl might come along later.

One of the most profound things I've heard that definitely applies to friend making is to live life without expectation. If you go into any situation designed to meet new people without expectations, there is no way that you can be disappointed with the outcome.

Sometimes you might make a connection and sometimes you won't and that's fine. What's the worst that will happen? You might waste some time on a random evening.

Likewise, if you offer up your number for coffee to someone because you think you might've made a connection what's the worst that can happen? They don't call. Keep offering your number up and eventually, someone will call.

Most of all, hang in there. Someone out there needs a friend too; I'm sure you'll find them.
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