Thread: Loneliness
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Old 02-07-2015, 05:37 PM   #8
malcolmk14
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This may not work at your workplace but here's what I did.

In September I started at a new workplace. A lot of the people there were quite friendly but I didn't really feel like I fit in. It felt superficial, like most work "friendships". They were welcoming, we went out for drinks after work once or twice, but I wanted to feel more comfortable and see if I could turn some of these work friends into real friends that I could talk to and hang out with outside of the workplace.

At Christmas, I went and bought some cards. I filled them out with a little message like "Thank you for being welcoming and inviting, I appreciate your friendship." - Things like that. Put them on their desks one morning with a small box of chocolates.

Since then, I've felt like our conversations are more meaningful at work, people stop by to chat with me more and invite me out places on the weekends. I've asked a couple of work friends who I have some things in common with to come over for dinner, or sometimes just to go out for a bite and a drink after work.

Offer to pick up coffee for a few people one morning. Show them signs that you're interested in a more meaningful connection with them. Other suggestions here are right - if you've got a hobby try asking if anyone else has that hobby and see if they want to go do that thing together.

A few years ago I had a work friend who at the time I considered just that, invite me over for Thanksgiving dinner. He was relentless in getting me out to do things and asking me to hang out, and today I'm thankful because he has been one of my closest friends for over 6 years now. I was in his wedding party and he'll be in mine. Really made me realize that sometimes making friends isn't easy, and in the end it might not be worth it 9/10 times, but that time it works out and you make a good friend, totally worth it.
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