Quote:
Originally Posted by GioforPM
I don't mind the coaches discussing things with the refs - they are kids too, and learning to discuss with coaches is part of it. But it should be a question, not an argument, and it should be really short.
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In our leagues, refs are generally in the same age range as us coaches (mid-20s), and in my experience, it's usually them who drives up the intensity with nonsensical, passive aggressiveness. If you explain to them a rule that they are employing incorrectly, it's like you've insulted the very fibre of their being. Like c'mon, we're all humans here, can't we have an adult interaction?
"Ref, isn't the rule this..?"
"Nope, not how I call it."
'But, that's the rule"
"Not in the book"
*Brings out book* (They REALLY love it when you do this)
"Don't have time for this coach"
"Then call it right"
"I'll call what I see" **skates away, still with no explanation for what happened.
...
This is usually when the shouting happens. It's really difficult to keep composed when someone is being just a straight up a-hole for no apparent reason. We've had 25-30 year olds tell 14 year old team captains to "F--- off". We've had a player kicked out for a hit the ref (or linesmen) didnt see (which wasn't an ejectionable offense, it was purely because the kid was hurt) and tell us that if we didn't tell him who hit the kid, he was going to kick out our captain (and best player). Some of them are a complete joke with no intention of doing things right or treating anyone else with respect when we have to tip toe around what we say to them. Really, getting even mediocre reffing at the bantam level is a blessing.
The kids do feed off your negativity though, and to keep them focused on the game and not the ref, when you as a coach does have to worry about the ref sometimes, is a difficult line to walk.