Oahu is where the big city is and the busiest tourist attractions. I don't recommend an entire vacation there, but it is worth it to pop over for a couple days to see pearl harbour.
Maui is a good inbetween island. It is far less busy than oahu, but quite a bit busier than the big island or kaui. This means there are way more accommodation, restaurant, tours and activity options. I think it is a good place for a first timer as has a bit of everything.
The big island is much quieter, but it has the Volcanos and a greater variety of landscape. I do highly recommend visiting it, but it will be a quieter vacation than Maui or Oahu.
I have never been to Kaui, but from what I have heard it is as quiet as the big island, with much more lush rain forests and no volcano. I do want to make it there at one point and do a helicopter ride of the big canyon.
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