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Old 01-16-2015, 02:39 PM   #1
HalifaxDrunk
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Default CPHL Biography #20 - 3thirty









Human Chameleon, born Christopher Ganesha Gushue on Oct 4th 1980 to Ralph Gushue; an Lethbridge, Alberta Dock Worker and his wife Tabetha Twaddle-Gushue; an amateur rattlesnake milker. 3thirty graduated high school voted most likely to be killed in a honey bee relocation accident.

Skipping a full scholarship to Harvard Law School 3thirty enrolled in the Todd Hlushko Academy of Christian Fellowship located in Fredericia, Denmark. His studies were suspended due to the much publicized court case involving daily Middelfart, Denmark (it's a real city look it up) sperm bank robberies at precisely 3:30pm. The case was eventually dismissed due to lack of evidence.

After being cleared of any wrongdoings 3thirty began a quest to locate the mating ground of the mysterious Pyrenees Sasquatch. Unfortunately during this quest 3thirty became incredibly lost and ended in a 6 month stay in an abandoned French insane asylum. It was here that 3thirty drank mysterious liquids from small sealed medical cups that resulted in his amazing chameleon abilities. Now world renown for his impersonations 3thirty has the ability to physically change his appearance to reflect anyone he wishes.

3thirty consistently slips in and out of the appearance of Lou Lamoriello since 2013 when he assumed the GM duties of the NJ Devils. 3thirty is now closely accompanied everywhere he goes by his beautiful wife Yetty Sasckawatch.






Stay tuned for the next Biography: Caged Great – Thailand's greatest export.
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