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Russic · 12-22-2014, 02:56 PM

I think Minnie had the best statement (post 5). It's a tough call and imo should be dealt with on a case by case basis. Trying to kick a rabbit? Absolutely intervene. Running around and nearly hitting old people? Sure. Kid having a tantrum? Absolutely annoying and I sympathize, but mind your own business.

What's difficult about the question is when the issue isn't immediately dangerous to anybody or anything, you don't have adequate backstory. So a kid is being loud and obnoxious in a store and the mom is on the phone. In my eyes you have to admit that you don't know what's going on there. Maybe the kid was visiting his grandparents in a care facility and has been still and well behaved for 2 hours and is totally exhausted (or maybe he's a prick). Maybe the mom is dealing with some heavy stuff and needs to be talking to somebody (or maybe angry birds). My point is you don't know.

The other thing to consider is discipline style. All parents will admit to pumping the anger up to 11 far too early sometimes. It's a dangerous game to play, because once you hit a peak, there's very little distance left to go. It's like when parents threaten to take their kid straight home when they're 10 feet into IKEA. You know they're screwed because they played their ace too early. My point is (at least for me) discipline can work on a gradient. I might not be yelling and screaming at them, but I just quietly took him aside and told him there'll be no video games for the weekend if he does whatever he just did again. That's a megaton for him, but from where you're sitting I'm just rubbing his back and telling him to cool down.

I have a buddy who has a blade of grass for a fuse and it's a little annoying. There are plenty of times he goes right over our heads and corrects a behaviour that we are about to take control of. The result is a kid who doesn't feel remorseful for his actions, but angry. He means well, but he makes a lot of situations incredibly difficult, and my kids are noticeably worse around him as a result.

12-22-2014, 02:56 PM	#34
Russic Dances with Wolves Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Section 304 Exp:	I think Minnie had the best statement (post 5). It's a tough call and imo should be dealt with on a case by case basis. Trying to kick a rabbit? Absolutely intervene. Running around and nearly hitting old people? Sure. Kid having a tantrum? Absolutely annoying and I sympathize, but mind your own business. What's difficult about the question is when the issue isn't immediately dangerous to anybody or anything, you don't have adequate backstory. So a kid is being loud and obnoxious in a store and the mom is on the phone. In my eyes you have to admit that you don't know what's going on there. Maybe the kid was visiting his grandparents in a care facility and has been still and well behaved for 2 hours and is totally exhausted (or maybe he's a prick). Maybe the mom is dealing with some heavy stuff and needs to be talking to somebody (or maybe angry birds). My point is you don't know. The other thing to consider is discipline style. All parents will admit to pumping the anger up to 11 far too early sometimes. It's a dangerous game to play, because once you hit a peak, there's very little distance left to go. It's like when parents threaten to take their kid straight home when they're 10 feet into IKEA. You know they're screwed because they played their ace too early. My point is (at least for me) discipline can work on a gradient. I might not be yelling and screaming at them, but I just quietly took him aside and told him there'll be no video games for the weekend if he does whatever he just did again. That's a megaton for him, but from where you're sitting I'm just rubbing his back and telling him to cool down. I have a buddy who has a blade of grass for a fuse and it's a little annoying. There are plenty of times he goes right over our heads and corrects a behaviour that we are about to take control of. The result is a kid who doesn't feel remorseful for his actions, but angry. He means well, but he makes a lot of situations incredibly difficult, and my kids are noticeably worse around him as a result. Last edited by Russic; 12-22-2014 at 03:00 PM.