In the end, you've gotta pick yourself up no matter how low you feel to get help. In the states you've got to pay up the ass to get help, in Canada you don't.
To quote John Locke from lost: Sane people know when they're going crazy, Insane people think they're fine.
1) Recognize why you feel the way you do, and accept it
2) Get proffesional help
3) Use whatever method that works best for you to get better, and always be mindful of why you feel the way you do.
In the end, if you don't know why you feel the way you do, the only answer is to "escape" from the inner torture via suicide.
Getting help opens the doors to understanding and what you can do to get through it.
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