[Senator Clay Davis]

Another great recap from the IMDB guy

Spoiler!

Previously on Sons of Anarchy... Ah, who cares?

We didn't get a montage last week, so they make up for it this week - boy, do they! The entire cast take a break from being scumbags to audition for Charming Theater's twelve-week run of Caligula. The only one not getting any Bobby post-death grief loving is Wendy, but thankfully they ADR'd in the sound of a vibrator. Don't Tig and Venus make such a cute couple?

At the end of the montage, Jax gently weeps while the hooker with the heart of gold consoles him. Awww.

Oh, and Juice is taking it up his colonic highway from Marilyn Manson. Like, why? More on that later.

Nero gets his weekly "Mano" in on top of his pressing Jax about the farm.

Jax' accent slips as per his episode-to-episode contract stipulation.

Little Abel is off to school with a cut over his eye, a fork in his lunchbox and a Thug Life plan to frame Gemma in his heart, because that's what five year old kids who eavesdrop do on this show: they become master conspirators. Oh, and if the kid's acting seems a little off, don't worry, he's not the worst one on this show.

That honorific would go to Marilyn Manson as Tully, obviously hired for name recognition and not talent. Manson has a sit down with Jax (I love that these prisons let known felons consort with one another almost on a daily basis, by the way) and CONSTANTLY glances down at his lines and STILL reads them with all the oomph of a wet fart. He and Jax go over the plan to kill Lin, but why haven't they done that yet? Could it be because Sutter is stalling, and the only way he knows how to stall is to feature Juice getting Mansoned? Juice may love the club and may be willing to do what it takes to get back in its good graces, but nothing in the last seven seasons suggests his character would go this far - and let's just play devil's advocate and say he would - what's the point? How does love poems, KY jelly and taking Manson's Antichrist Superstar get him any closer to killing Lin? Oh, Sutter, you and your shock value.

Elsewhere, Jax goes to meet with his newfound AB buddies; one of them insults Tig so Jax and crew end up shooting and killing two of them because, well, it's over twenty minutes in and we haven't had anyone use their gun yet.

The AB alert Samcro that Leland The Lone Wolf is on his way to cap Eglee, but no worry, he gets his backside handed to him by Super Cancer.

Jarry questions Unser, claims they can't keep protecting Samcro, starts daydreaming about garage sex with Chibbs.

Ratboy and T.O get abducted by faux-Marks and he threatens to do to them what he did to Bobby lest they give up the location of the pastor's family. T.O caves and sends faux-Marks to... AHA! PLOT TWIST! Not only that, but PLOT TWIST THAT WAS CONSPIRED OFF SCREEN BECAUSE, HEY, SUTTER SUCKS THAT MUCH! Faux-Marks and his entire organization are sent to the AB house instead, where everyone is waiting to ambush them. Faux-Marks has been shown to be devious, cunning and, above all, smarter than anyone else on the show, but we need to finally advance this plot so it's time for them to act completely dumb: no scoping out of the location, no confirming the information checks out first, not even taking along one of the hostages for leverage: nope, they just walk RIGHT into the trap. They even sweep the house and land and STILL get ambushed. Jax does to faux-Marks what faux-Marks did to that fat guy.

Don't forget about Juice during all this: he's busy listening to Marilyn Manson write new lyrics. You see, he's in solitary so he can't get to Lin, but at least he can get regular visitors so Sutter can fulfill his daily quota of crappy shock value.

Child services, after seven seasons, finally gets involved when Abel convinces them that his down the street and not across was perpetrated by Gemma. What a cunning little kid. He can barely complete a sentence but he sure can frame someone to advance the plot. Meanwhile, Jax broods over all this.

Chibbs tries to break it off with Jarry; they have Lethal Weapon 3-style sex instead.

Venus tries to break it off with Tig; they whisper sweet nothings to one another instead.

Finally, Jax tells Abel why he's such a moron: he came from the junky, not the educated doctor. Boohoo. How does Abel thank Jax for revealing a branch of his family tree? By letting him known Gemma killed Tara.

Cue stifled yawns.

Sons of Anarchy was filmed before a live studio audience.