Yeah, I'm thinking you aren't ready for a pet.
If you absolutely MUST get another cat, consider adopting an older cat. You know what they are going to look like, you can talk to the previous owner/shelter about it's temperament so you have a better idea of what to expect instead of rolling the "kitten dice" and seeing what comes up and abandoning it if you don't like the roll.
But I will tell you this. Animals are like people, as they grow they change, often in unpredictable ways. Since you seem unable to handle that, I'd recommend that you stay away from the companionship of animals.
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