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Flamesguy_SJ · 11-08-2014, 09:03 PM

I lost my father in 2012 at the age of 60 to malignant melanoma that had somehow ended up all through his brain and nowhere else in his body. He had been complaining for about a month about a bad headache, and then one day in March (a day or two before I was scheduled to leave for Calgary to watch a couple games, actually) lost most of the function of his left side. We thought it was a stroke, but we quickly learned in the emergency room that his brain was "Swiss cheese", as the ER Doc put it. In my 25 years of existence up to that point, I think I remember my father being sick once; in 35 years of work, he literally never took a sick day. He never drank a drop of alcohol (neither did his father) and never smoked, so it was pretty shocking to all of us.

He was given a prognosis of 6 months to live, and never left the hospital once he was admitted that day in March. He went through both chemo and radiation, and to this day I have no idea why. The small benefits that he might have gained from those treatments were completely and utterly dwarfed by the misery and pain he and the rest of my family experienced. I don't question whether chemo and/or radiation are an effective treatment for cancer; I question the decision to put someone like my Dad through it when everyone knows going in that there won't be any chance of beating it.

I will say that my family were extremely lucky that my Dad was always completely aware and understood what was happening, who he was, who we were, etc. It's pretty much a miracle that he was even conscious most of the time given the state of his brain, and he was always upbeat and positive. It also helped that the nurses on the Neuro floor were amazing, not just with my Dad, but with all the rest of us. The hospital became a home away from home for my family and a large part of that was because of the nurses and doctors working there providing us with such support and care.

My father died in June of 2012, just over 4 months after being diagnosed and after 2 weeks in palliative care. I miss him everyday, and it breaks my heart to think that he won't get to see his grandchildren grow up, or that I won't be able to ask him for advice on life, or that my girlfriend will never meet him.

11-08-2014, 09:03 PM	#12
Flamesguy_SJ First Line Centre Join Date: Jul 2004 Exp:	I lost my father in 2012 at the age of 60 to malignant melanoma that had somehow ended up all through his brain and nowhere else in his body. He had been complaining for about a month about a bad headache, and then one day in March (a day or two before I was scheduled to leave for Calgary to watch a couple games, actually) lost most of the function of his left side. We thought it was a stroke, but we quickly learned in the emergency room that his brain was "Swiss cheese", as the ER Doc put it. In my 25 years of existence up to that point, I think I remember my father being sick once; in 35 years of work, he literally never took a sick day. He never drank a drop of alcohol (neither did his father) and never smoked, so it was pretty shocking to all of us. He was given a prognosis of 6 months to live, and never left the hospital once he was admitted that day in March. He went through both chemo and radiation, and to this day I have no idea why. The small benefits that he might have gained from those treatments were completely and utterly dwarfed by the misery and pain he and the rest of my family experienced. I don't question whether chemo and/or radiation are an effective treatment for cancer; I question the decision to put someone like my Dad through it when everyone knows going in that there won't be any chance of beating it. I will say that my family were extremely lucky that my Dad was always completely aware and understood what was happening, who he was, who we were, etc. It's pretty much a miracle that he was even conscious most of the time given the state of his brain, and he was always upbeat and positive. It also helped that the nurses on the Neuro floor were amazing, not just with my Dad, but with all the rest of us. The hospital became a home away from home for my family and a large part of that was because of the nurses and doctors working there providing us with such support and care. My father died in June of 2012, just over 4 months after being diagnosed and after 2 weeks in palliative care. I miss him everyday, and it breaks my heart to think that he won't get to see his grandchildren grow up, or that I won't be able to ask him for advice on life, or that my girlfriend will never meet him. Last edited by Flamesguy_SJ; 11-08-2014 at 09:11 PM.