[Senator Clay Davis]

Hilarious recap by a poster on IMDB of the last episode

Spoiler!

Our episode opens with at least one surprise: no montage, but Nero does refer to Gemma as "Mama" in the first thirty seconds, so those looking for familiarity, fear not.

Everyone is sitting around having breakfast. Jax is sipping coffee and eating a big bowl of Murder-O's while that little mongo kid, Abel, is in desperate need of some table manners, so Gemma forces him to say "thank you." Next, she'll teach him the proper usage of a fork.

They're all going up to the cabin where they're keeping the two plot devices and Jax wants to pull Abel from school and take him along - great plan, Jax - deprive an already dumb kid of an education and put him in harm's way by having him shack up with a crackhead who is the target of some deadly black-op gangsters. Wendy, meanwhile, "hates this," but Gemma reminds her she chose the life. A) Wendy, you're an idiot, and B) Gemma should change her name to Emily Post after teaching people manners.

Charlie's accent slips.

They get to the cabin and inform Plot Device #2 of their plan, but Plot Device #2 cracks one of the glorified extras over the head with a tire iron and tries to make a get away. It's chasin' time! They try to get him to pull over not by flanking him but by pulling up alongside the car and yelling "pull over." Happy gets knocked off his bike and Tig finally shoots out the window. They finally get him to pull over and Jax yells. Happy throws a punch. Crisis averted.

Back at Casa De Crone, our Queen Buzzard and that extra with dialogue get to the nitty gritty of biker/old lady relationships, not before Gemma gets to assume that everyone stares at her saggy funbags. I may have dry heaved a little. Oh, and I don't care about this relationship stuff, so hopefully I'll never have to hear about it again. Wishful thinking.

Back at the county jail, prison, whatever, Juice gets his requisite buttocks shot in for the week and we get to see him grimace as he forces a shiv up his fudge tunnel. Remember when he and Chibs got that colonic?

Buzzard McGee is called to see Jarry and they talk about the Chinese guy who supposedly murdered Tara and that other guy whose name we dare not speak aloud. They get into a fight. Gemma doesn't get arrested. Gemma makes a very serious threat. Gemma doesn't get arrested. Nero looks concerned watching this from afar.

Elsewhere, Tig and Happy get their "we're so unusual" joke of the week while digging up the body parts of the dead priest. They finally plan to make an even trade with Marks: an eviscerated corpse and porn for what's left of Captain Blackbeard.

Faux-Marks tells Long John Silver it's time to go home and gives him a broken jaw for his consolation prize. You jackass, now how is Bobby supposed to ARRRRRGH like a pirate? :-(

Nero and Gemma, meanwhile, have left their meeting with Jarry and Nero is going on and on about his farm and selling his share of Casa De Massacre.

Jax and crew meet with Marx to make the trade - Marks double-crosses them and assassinates Stumpy. Jax cries, Marks intimidates Jax a little more before leaving. Sutter was once quoted as saying that a death that would tear us apart takes place in the ninth episode - personally, it would have been more shocking if Bobby hadn't become a blind (ha - you see what I did there), mouth-breathing thug in service of this season's plot - I couldn't care less that he's dead. And besides, they'd already carved him into fish sticks, what else was there left for him to do except take a bullet?

Rat and Brooke talk more about their feelings and their love for one another. Wishful thinking, indeed.

Everyone convenes at the cabin of death and give Bobby a send-off. Jax, during this, assures the plot devices that they are safe. They smile. Expect them to be gunned down next episode.

Chibs is so broken up and destroyed over Bobby that his unintelligible speech reaches new heights. He meets with Jarry with a plan to frame Marks and they have sex in the parking garage while Fee Fi Fo Fum looks on nonchalantly.

Gemma asks to be alone with Captain Ahab's corpse, giving little Abel ample time to eavesdrop some more whilst Gemma says incriminating stuff.

Finally, we get to the last few moments and they end the episode with Marks getting arrested - but not to a montage, surprisingly, but to Jax looking on from afar, wearing Professor Frink's coke bottle glasses.