Quote:
Originally Posted by flameswin
Yep, I'm a perfect example of this. I used to use fag as a slur on CP all the time because a) I thought it sounded funny (stupid, looking back) and b) I thought because I was so in favour and supportive of equal rights that I was somehow exempt from being in the wrong while using it. 
It was never moderation that drove me away from it, it was a specific discussion, and many comments from other users that eventually made me reflect on my use of the word and then stop using it. In other words, the culture of Calgarypuck dictated that the word fag would no longer be socially acceptable here, and now when I see people use it, I cringe.
More recently, I was using the term "######ed". I didn't mean it maliciously, I just kind of used it, just like how a just kind of used the word fag. Then someone didn't respond directly to me, but 8 posts after mine said something like "I can't believe people use the word ######ed in a derogatory way in 2014, that shouldn't be acceptable on CP".
So I stopped using that, too. And really that's what I hope this thread and the eventual removal of the YLYL thread will do; Cause people to take a step back and go "Okay, this isn't just about the thread, it's about our culture on the board. Who's being marginalized? How am I offending them and making them feel like they don't fit on CP? Am I a decent person, and should therefore just simply make an effort to be more inclusive? |
Excellent post. I am very much the same way with certain words, fag, ######, gay etc. I personally never associated those terms to be derogatory towards certain groups but certainly understand that they are. Used among friends, sporting endeavors what have you. Never thought to much of it really. Than, a few months ago a friend that now lives in Montreal posted on his facebook that a person had yelled out the word ###### while on the train towards my friend and his boyfriend as they were exciting. Of course this angered my friend to no end. It can me hard at times to comprehend how much words can hurt people but reading his post you could sense his anger and also his disappointment. Nobody said or did anything, not a sorry or what a prick nothing. I think that got to him more, nobody stepping up.
Personally words, images etc have never had much of an impact on me, I'm not easily offended. But using that word isn't about me it is about how its use makes other people feel. It took a friend and a ####ty situation to make that a lot more clear to me.
This thread has similarly opened my eyes to certain words and jokes and the way they are used. It really gives a lot to think about. Even early today I got an email from my hockey team saying we were going to have a girl play for us (Team Canada Gold medal winning girl at that) and my first thought was to make a wise crack about line mates or seats on the bench. It was dumb and immature and I am glad I didn't send it. This thread and a number of the posts in it are thanks to that.