[rubecube]

Originally Posted by MattyC

So is it different if someone stares or leers at the girl on the recumbant bike?

No, it's not. The argument was who is most like the bro and that was my response, because the original post was ridiculous and I'm not going to make any judgement calls on why a guy would wear what he wears to the gym, mostly because I couldn't give a ####.

Oilstain mentions the "bro" with perfectly fine reasoning but is called "gross" for apparently being able to see into the minds of women, which is really what almost all of us are doing here (trying to figure out what women's reasons are) and what any woman is doing when she assumes that any guy that happens to look at her is at the very least interested in her sexually, and at the very worst, will try to rape her in the parking lot later.

Well I'm not reading into women's minds. My experience comes from talking to women and dealing with gender issues on a daily basis through some of the volunteer work I do, and there are women who have expressed that they do not feel comfortable, safe, etc., in a gym with men. And that's not to say that all of the reasons women aren't comfortable in gyms with men have to do with assault and harassment. Some of it I'm sure has to do with how they feel about their bodies.

Arguing about the difference between a look and a stare? Come on. If you plug either of those into a thesaurus, the other is right there. When does a glance become a look, a stare, a leer, or a predetermined rape-face?

stare
ste(ə)r/Submit
verb
1.
look fixedly or vacantly at someone or something with one's eyes wide open.
"he stared at her in amazement"
synonyms: gaze, gape, goggle, glare, ogle, peer; informalgawk, rubberneck

I believe you are mistaken. There are some pretty distinct differences at play.

Is it a time thing or an intent thing? And now we're back to seeing into each others minds. What if a guy is daydreaming and a woman happens to be in his line of sight? Guessing at people's intentions is completely futile.

No, but having a women's only gym takes the guessing right out of the game. It becomes a non-issue at that point.

How is it any better or worse that a guy assumes a girl staring at him is interested or a girl assumes a guy staring at her is dangerous? They're all unfair stereotypes.

This has been beaten to death and I'm going to refer you to any of mine or photon's responses to pylon. I don't have the energy to go into it again. Let's just say you're looking at this from the privileged perspective of someone who very rarely if ever has to consider the possibility that they might be raped.

I know a guy who was pursued into a parking lot by a gay man who became interested after noticing his (very feminine) tattoo in the locker room. Is that man now legally entitled to ask that his gym be a gay-free zone? My guess is most (including myself) would say no.

No, because this is one incident and not representative of a larger societal problem. If your friend as well as a high number of other straight men were being pursued multiple times by multiple gay men, then they might have something to gripe about.