Well, my biggest advice is to educate yourself on Alzheimer's and dementia. Know what to expect and you will just be better prepared to handle it. There is lots and lots of materials out there.
One thing that I can tell you right now is to not 'correct' her. Just go with what she is saying. My dad has dementia, and my mom died many years ago. He had asked me if his wife was coming (didn't really recognize me as his son at that moment, or he would have asked me if my mom was coming). To remind him that she is gone, would be to just give him pain. To just say: "I think she will come later, but not sure." or something like that will just allowed him to move on from the topic and not get stressed, upset, or more depressed.
There are times when you do need to correct someone (if you are caring for that person at home, and they suddenly want to leave at 2am because they need to go to 'work'). Other than that, just go with it. Correcting them will just give them more confusion and often the precursor to a conflict that really does nothing beneficial to anyone.
Most of all, don't get hurt that one day she won't remember you sometimes. Just know that your mom probably loves you, but this is what happens. It isn't like a switch where one day she will not remember you, and will never remember you. It comes and goes, but never take it personally. This is part of memory loss.
As for dealing with your dad - just sounds a lot like to me that he simply doesn't know how to deal with her, and is scared. He might not admit it to you, but that would be my guess without knowing more of the story. He might have also been 'hurt' by not being remembered at times (no idea how far along your mother is).
Just really educate yourself as much as possible so you know what to expect, and be able to deal with things as best as possible as they come up. Music has shown to really help lately, getting her to focus on a task (bring a puzzle or something else to help focus her, something that she likes, even bring in your basket of clothing you need folded and just fold it with her - she wants to feel needed and helpful just as every single one of us do).
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