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Originally Posted by saillias
I really like your whole post but quoting this part in particular.
I would never dare to talk about anxiety with employers, a date, most friends, colleagues etc. My dad who was suffered from anxiety most of his life strongly encouraged me to shut up and not speak up about my issues at work or risk being seen as "a problem".
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This!
This is the big one. I've worked somewhere that they sent out emails saying "If you are experiencing mental health issues please feel free to talk to HR, we will understand and assist you" and sent out newsletters about how to deal with stress and signs and depression, etc. Watched a co-worker, who was previously high ranking and seemingly hid their anxiety quite well go in after they had an anxiety attack at work and then proceed to be passed over for any promotion, despite being easily the most deserving several times. They were labelled after that meeting and ended up quitting the company because they had an instant ceiling put on them.
I have moderate anxiety myself (both social and general anxiety since I was very young) and I will NEVER let an employer know. It's too easy for them to then use the excuse or stigma "Well you have anxiety, you can't handle the extra pressure of a management/increased responsibility job" and then keep me from getting to the job I have worked hard to get. Do I have bad anxiety? Sure do. Does my anxiety mean that I can't deal with stress and will have a mental breakdown as soon as you ask something of me? Far from it. Does anxiety mean I can't do the job as good as or better then someone else? No.
In a perfect world, I would love to see it at some point where you can openly tell your employers that you have anxiety or depression without stigma or fear of being labelled so that if you do happen to go into a bad period where a mental health day mid-week is the difference between you collecting yourself before the bottom falls out and you ending up in the hospital a week later because you had a massive anxiety attack from over doing it for weeks/months on end and ignoring or pushing back the signs until you explode because you fear that showing any sign of depression or anxiety will ruin the career you worked for. Quite frankly, I had been allowed that opportunity myself after pushing for 2 years straight, I might have avoided what has turned out to be one of the worst periods of my life recently because I just kept going and didn't stop at all or listen to the fact I needed a break because after 2 years of 16-20 hour days and doing extra jobs because the workplace had major job cuts and basically holding up a company figurehead who was going under, I hit a breaking point. And break I did. It wasn't pretty. I did end up losing my job over it as the employers felt I could no longer perform to the level they expected and that it was my best interest to find something "less stressful". But that's the past and I'm moving forward and lessons have been learned and all that.
I also understand there are some people who will read what I said above and say "Oh well, there's proof you can't do the job as good as someone else" and that's fine. Frankly, I'm a workaholic and I feel that people who take lunches longer then they are allotted or abuse bosses who are lenient on working hours are lesser employees. So I'm just as guilty of stereotyping too.
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For many people, happiness is indeed a choice. It saddens me seeing others grow upset over silly things. If you lose your phone, get a crack in your windshield, have a friend who isn't texting you back, aren't happy with your pay at work, etc. then I implore you to fix it. Choose not to let the little things get to you. Choose to take the bad with a grain of salt. I have depression, and when I have the choice, I ALWAYS choose to be happy, no matter the situation, because I know it's only a matter of time before a bad day comes and that choice is taken away from me. So if you can, do what many cannot and choose to enjoy every part of your day, no matter what.
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And I to have the same sadness and jealousy towards people who get to have a choice. I actually had to stop posting on here for awhile and avoid the site because the amount of petty BS people got upset about starting bothering me. No I don't know the backgrounds of everyone and if someone takes offense to this, I do apologize as I'm not trying to cut anyone down, but you see some of that and you really wonder why someone who could be happy chooses just to get bent out of shape over it. The last few months have been one of the worst bad periods I've had anxiety wise and I spent every morning getting up saying to myself this will be a good and happy day and I will do what "normal" people do and be okay. Only to have that mood kicked in the ass by anxiety 30 mins later or when I did try to go out and push myself forward, I got kicked back pretty hard and then try not to let that be the thing that stops me from having a happy day. And then I came here and saw people getting all riled up about how someone parks their car, you know it made no sense. I can't leave the house due to anxiety, but someone was seemingly just as upset as I was about that over how a car was parked. How about I trade you being able to leave the house to go park your car somewhere and complain someone parked next to you and you can stay stuck in the house because the thought of leaving it overwhelms you? (Again, not trying to single anyone out and no, I don't know their background or maybe they suffer OCD or some mental illness and that is legitimately something that upsets them and makes them feel similar to what I was dealing with)
So yea, if you have the choice to be happy and a choice to chose between happy and sad, do so. Because many of us would saw off a body part and give it to you without thinking twice to have that ability.
...and now I've rambled on excessively and created what looks like a pity party. Not my intent, not looking for pity. I know now things will get better and all that and hope that anyone else feeling down and out can find the same sort of relief and know that things do come around, just never as fast as you want them to.