That's the kind of thing that happens when there's no communication, rather than being able to discuss it when it's at a low or medium level, it sits until it's at DEFCON 2 at which point it's not communication anymore, it's confrontation or blaming or resentment etc.
Lots of marriages go through varying degrees of this.
They would probably benefit from some marriage counselling/therapy.
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Uncertainty is an uncomfortable position.
But certainty is an absurd one.
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