[indes]

Originally Posted by Peanut

I have to say I really don't understand what you are arguing. Nowhere did I state that it's all men, or only men. Woman on woman assault happens, woman on man assault happens. But the majority of assault is perpetrated by men (man on woman and man on man). I was attempting to explain to you why women are apprehensive and defensive in certain situations and around some men. Because of experiences, not statistics or fear-mongering.

The website listed a statistic for male victims too, if you happened to read any of it. 1 in 10 men have experienced sexual abuse as well. I didn't read any statistics on the breakdown of male/female perpetrators.

And I think the context that you are missing is that this is happening to ALL WOMEN. That was the point of the twitter campaign I guess. It's not one woman's personal experience coloring her view of the world and producing gender bias. Like your example of a man in a gay bar.

Originally Posted by wittynickname

I have three friends who have been drugged, both of my sisters and my mother were sexually assaulted, a friend was date-raped (also secretly filmed during the act, and the guy then sent the video to his friends), another friend who was emotionally, sexually, and physically abused by an ex-boyfriend, two aunts who were abused physically and a grandmother who was abused emotionally.

How many friends do you have that were hit on by gay guys to the point of fearing for their safety? How many relatives do you have that were beat up by black guys?

This isn't a made up statistic. Every woman I know either was a victim herself or knows several. Every. Woman. This isn't rare or unusual. This is reality for us.

And yes, maybe we'll give a fake number or avoid your advances. Sorry, your feelings are hurt. We'll worry more about offending your sensibilities when we stop getting killed/raped/assaulted/abused en masse.




This is the thing--we are not all hating men. I don't hate men in general, I hate the patriarchal crap that causes everyday problems for every woman I know. I hate that currently more people in the US are upset because THEY'RE GONNA TAKE OUR GUNS than the fact that the extreme misogynist views of a psycho killed six innocent people.

But I date. I like to flirt. I enjoy being around men. But that doesn't mean that I don't have to take precautions everytime I date someone, that doesn't mean that every woman doesn't have to take precautions everytime she dates someone. I had a date over on Thursday evening, and as a precaution, I texted the girl who lives across the hall to keep an ear out, just in case things went bad. Went to dinner with a different guy last month, and had several friends waiting to hear from me afterward to make sure I was safe. This is reality for women. Until you can grasp that it's not hatred of men, it's fearing for our own safety, you will not understand that it isn't about your hurt feelings, it's about our survival.




How many men do you know who have been physically or sexually assaulted by women? How many men do you know who have been felt up on a train by a freaky woman? How many men do you know who have been called derogatory names because he didn't respond properly to a woman's advances?




Again: How many friends do you have who have repeatedly experienced being come onto by an overbearing gay man who touched them inappropriately?

Tell men to stop feeling entitled to women's bodies, teach men that date rape is still rape. Teach men that cat-calling is offensive. Teach men that it's not okay to feel a girl up on a train. Obviously there are enough men doing it that it's a problem.

Stop blaming the victims for being afraid. Blame the men who are perpetuating that fear.

I'm not the one contributing to the thread?? A few pages back a poster got jumped on for saying women enjoy talking about themselves. I see it's entirely appropriate to paint all men with the same brush, not to mention one with a much darker color. There's quite the misandrist tone to these posts but it's unfair to disagree because they're women. I think the fact that they look at all men as potential attackers says a lot more about them than it does about the men they see.