[taco.vidal]

Not sure anyone can refute your cold hard facts. Case closed.

Originally Posted by wittynickname

I have three friends who have been drugged, both of my sisters and my mother were sexually assaulted, a friend was date-raped (also secretly filmed during the act, and the guy then sent the video to his friends), another friend who was emotionally, sexually, and physically abused by an ex-boyfriend, two aunts who were abused physically and a grandmother who was abused emotionally.

How many friends do you have that were hit on by gay guys to the point of fearing for their safety? How many relatives do you have that were beat up by black guys?

This isn't a made up statistic. Every woman I know either was a victim herself or knows several. Every. Woman. This isn't rare or unusual. This is reality for us.

And yes, maybe we'll give a fake number or avoid your advances. Sorry, your feelings are hurt. We'll worry more about offending your sensibilities when we stop getting killed/raped/assaulted/abused en masse.




This is the thing--we are not all hating men. I don't hate men in general, I hate the patriarchal crap that causes everyday problems for every woman I know. I hate that currently more people in the US are upset because THEY'RE GONNA TAKE OUR GUNS than the fact that the extreme misogynist views of a psycho killed six innocent people.

But I date. I like to flirt. I enjoy being around men. But that doesn't mean that I don't have to take precautions everytime I date someone, that doesn't mean that every woman doesn't have to take precautions everytime she dates someone. I had a date over on Thursday evening, and as a precaution, I texted the girl who lives across the hall to keep an ear out, just in case things went bad. Went to dinner with a different guy last month, and had several friends waiting to hear from me afterward to make sure I was safe. This is reality for women. Until you can grasp that it's not hatred of men, it's fearing for our own safety, you will not understand that it isn't about your hurt feelings, it's about our survival.




How many men do you know who have been physically or sexually assaulted by women? How many men do you know who have been felt up on a train by a freaky woman? How many men do you know who have been called derogatory names because he didn't respond properly to a woman's advances?




Again: How many friends do you have who have repeatedly experienced being come onto by an overbearing gay man who touched them inappropriately?

Tell men to stop feeling entitled to women's bodies, teach men that date rape is still rape. Teach men that cat-calling is offensive. Teach men that it's not okay to feel a girl up on a train. Obviously there are enough men doing it that it's a problem.

Stop blaming the victims for being afraid. Blame the men who are perpetuating that fear.