I'll go ahead and throw my hat in the ring for "Most Oblivious Guy on CP".
I remember having a conversation with my wife after we had been dating for a few years. She told me that she had actually had a crush on me for a long time (I was really good friends with her brother since back in high-school). She said she had tried giving me signs in the past, but I never caught on.
I told her that had actually happened to me quite a few times in the past. I would run into a girl I hadn't seen in a long time and after talking for a bit it would come up that she had a bit of a crush on me back in the day and I had been totally oblivious.
My wife says, "You realize that when a girl tells you she had a thing for you back then, she's basically hinting she wants you to ask her out
now, right?"
Nope, completely clueless. Stupid, stupid younger me
