[Crazy Bacon Legs]

So I set up a dice-rolling tournament in order to figure out who I should vote for at random. It's a random game that this point and there's no sense in applying logic, as far as I can tell.

I assigned three dice to each person: two red and one black for those who played the game before, and two white and one red for those of us who are new. I included myself in this process. It's only fair. What I was really struck by is the fact that I own such a large number of dice for no real reason.

I began by laying out the dice on a large table and setting people up based on a snaking alphabetical list. My plan was to stage an elimination-style bracket tournament with the "winner" being voted on by me to die.

I started rolling the dice when suddenly the cat ran in and grabbed one of the red dice and ran off with it. Which is weird, because I don't own a cat. I spent the next 45 minutes looking for the cat, and when I came back to the table the cleaning lady had cleaned up all my dice. I was again struck by the oddness of this as I do not have a cleaning lady. So some woman came into my house and stole all my dice.

This is a long way of telling you I still don't know how to vote. I have another selection method involving a lawn mower. I will let you know if this works out. But I have discovered that I really need to get my door fixed. It's like a bloody train station in here.