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Old 04-28-2014, 12:17 PM   #92
mustache ride
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I see three reasons why people hit their kids
-negative reinforcement for when a child does something dangerous
-trying to obtain or re-obtain dominance in the parent/ child relationship
-An inability to cope with the situation and the loss of problem solving

The first one seems straight forward when you're dealing with smaller children. Kid turns on the stove, smack em on the ass so they associate temporary pain with things you consider risky for a small child. I would think the window for this runs out some time around puberty

The second one seems more geared towards teenagers trying to test their boundaries. Like it or not, there is still a necessity for physical confrontation in parent/guardian - children relationships. I'm not saying kids need to be tuned up, however sometimes it takes being physically manhandled to shock someone back into place. The caveats to this would be a close to one time thing and the parent would need to be in complete control of their emotions. If these criteria are not met then its just a parent fighting a kid.

Anything other than these two situations is just a parent in over their head. Hitting someone with a tool, losing control of your temper in a confrontation or excessive physically contact is a parent crying out for help because they're out of ideas.

Also, this will be only the second generation in our history where we have taken steps to remove physical contact from children's lives. Zero tolerance in schools, a national focus on bullying and more parents taking a hands off approach when it comes to discipline. It will be interesting to see how the next couple of generations turn out.
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