[Coach]

Originally Posted by rubecube

I think it absolutely does. I don't think pylon deserved to be beaten with a garden hose for what he did. If this was an act of defense by the girl's dad, then maybe you could justify it but it clearly wasn't. The goal should not be simply to deter little pylon from throwing dirt and disabled girl because he's afraid of the consequences, the goal should be to teach him that what he's doing is wrong and why it's wrong.

I couldn't remember what the punsihment was for Pylon. I agree that the hose is definitely too far. And I have stated that there are obviously more effective, less physically abusive methods and that it should be explained what he did wrong and why he can't treat people that way. From the sounds of things Pylon was a bit of a terror as a kid. If those emethods had been tried continuously and obviously failed to get a message across, I think an escalation is warrented. Not rubber hose, and again there is likely a way to avoid hitting altogether, but in the moment a spank is probably warrented and if the parent has taken many other steps beforehand, I definitely wouldn't consider a spank or smack on the head as abusive. I was wrong about the rubber hose for Pylon so my bad.

Again, I disagree. If someone is becoming personally threatening to people then yeah, people have right to defend themselves. You don't have a right, nor does someone deserve to be assaulted, simply because they're not conforming to someone else's standards.

Isn't this the same thing? The guy is becoming personally threatening (not conforming ot others standards) and so can be hit (assaulted) to stop said non-conforming? And in this situation, it's likely that hitting that guy does nothing but escalate the situation, unless you can one-punch him, but that doesn't mean he didnt deserve it. These are adults so it is a different situation, but there are many cases of adult children being abused as well.

We're not talking about blame for the action. Pylon should accept blame for what he did, he shouldn't accept blame for being assaulted. And I think nine year-olds may know that something is wrong in the sense that they're going to be punished for it, but that's not the same as knowing something is wrong because you have empathy for other human beings.

I can agree to this, but that doesn't mean a person (and I want to get away from Pylon as I agree a rubber hose is excessive) can't look back on a spanking situation and go "It was innappropriate for my parent to spank me, but I earned the pain that time and since this happened few and far between and only when I really screwed up, I don't view my parents as abusive."

I think there is a line that has to be kept in mind. And also the fact that abuse generally refers to an ongoing thing. There are one-off occurances of rage that are obviously unnacceptable, but as far something like spanking or light smacks goes, if it a situation where you come home for your daily spanking each day that is definitely abusive. If it's you get hit once every couple years for being a complete jackass, your parents are probably fine and you probably deserved it that time.