Personally, I've been in a similar state for a while. Im younger (turning 25 this year), I have a good job but it's not what I want to do long term. I've lived my life in the safe lane kind of going along with the most practical decision rather than what I truely want and it's hurting right now. My real passion is in more creative endevours than my current position at a bank will likely lead. But I think what has helped is learning not to fret about what I can't control. What leaped out to me about your post is your fear of mortality combined with your faith crisis. I find that these things generally go hand in hand with people. Those who fear mortality turn to religion to look for an attempt at explaining mortality or give you hope of something beyond death. But the reality is you can't control these things. The sheer number of religions in the world will show you that not one of them is certain about any afterlife. You could walk out of your house and be killed by a car today, and what happens after that will certainly not depend on what you were worshipping earlier. What becomes of our mind after death is a mystery, but I think it's safe to assume that whatever it is, anywhere from riding rainbows in heaven to simply ceasing to exist anymore. And nothing you with your time on earth will make those any more certain until you get there. When you can accept that not knowing is OK, mortality will cease to be a factor. I can confidently say that I do not fear death. I fear pain, and the possible pain associated with dying, but actually no longer existing on earth doesn't frighten me and I am perfectly OK to find out what happens when it happens.
Just my 2 cents.
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