Quote:
Originally Posted by Peanut
I didn't quote it but I can't imagine a scenario where a kid is being spanked "calmly", and therefore a calm spank is not abuse, as a poster above said. Isn't the whole point of a spank that a kid does something, the parent is pissed about the disobedience, and the result is a spank. It's not like the parent schedules a spank for later when everyone has calmed down. If you were calm you wouldn't have the inclination to hit them anymore.
Anyways, count me among the 1 in 3. I'm comfortable identifying what happened to me as abuse but I don't have any attachments to the label. It doesn't impact my life. Did people have it worse and more systemically? Most definitely. But what happened to me does still fit the definition of abuse and I agree with that definition.
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I am the same. I don't harbor any anger towards my dad, and I don't even think about it day to day. In fact he is probably the funniest person I've ever known. However, I believe it impacted him, far more than me. He has eluded in the past about how horrible he felt about my upbringing, and how he has so much guilt about it. In reality, he knew no better. That's how he was raised, that's how I was raised. People didn't start saying spanking and hitting kids was wrong until the 80's.