[Maritime Q-Scout]

I think I have enough for my final post on this issue.

There are a few fundamental issues here that you seem to be missing.

1) You assume any time wasted by a server affects you directly. Just because a server does something that, as you put it but I disagree, "wastes" time; that does not mean your service is affected. In the refill example you ignore the fact that prep work done while the server is letting you eat in peace doesn't cause you any lost time. You counter this argument by saying the restaurant loses productivity. However, how others are affected shouldn't determine your tip.

2) You seem to think that a tip creates a contractual relationship between the customer and server. The server is never employed by the customer. The server is employed by the restaurant. Their actions are based on company policy. They are not subject to your every whim.

A tip is a gratuity. It's a thank you. It isn't an obligation, it isn't a right. It doesn't buy you a slave or a person. It doesn't mean that you can dictate how someone else's employees act in their business nor how things run in other cultures.

You cannot expect a server in Rimouski to serve you in English because you'll pay them 15% on a $10 order. Why? Because you're in the heart of Québec, you went to a francophone area looking for service.

It's also irrational to preach how servers in Calgary should be serving people when it's not your tip money that they are after. It's ours (well most other posters) by arguing with me you're also saying how servers should be treating me for my tip money in Nova Scotia. It doesn't matter that the cultural norms in both these places are different from yours. And what is expected from restaurant service is culturally different. By stating how things should be done here over the internet you are the one trying to control this here, and without the incentive of tip money (which is an absurd argument to begin with).

3) You assume that everything within a category is interchangeable. Given the East Side Mario's example it's not. You actually said you understood that. A restaurant is well within their rights to charge you for a coke and a ginger ale. To you they are both fountain drinks, but they are different products. Some places will allow you to interchange, some won't. Because some won't, you can't expect it everywhere.

4) The tipping the manager point you assume that the manager would pocket the cash tips. I argue that splitting the tips would be fair, and follow the same procedures that tip splitting follows when you tip the server.


This will be my last post on the topic. Not because you are right Springs1, but because you have trouble with reading comprehension, go straight to reductio ad absurdum when an example doesn't support you, and you believe that tips create contractual obligations that, as you stated, compare to slavery and comprise the safety of the wait staff (they should be running to save your 6 seconds). Lastly, you are unwilling to listen to counter arguments, when asked for proof and statistical analysis of your experiences you say no because "people might find out where you live". How does saying "I went to Chili's and this was my experience" narrow down where you live at all? It does not. You simply don't want to even demonstrate any possibility that service could be better than you claim, or the very few bad experiences warrant this tirade. You dismiss all premises of those that disagree, I and others have not done the same.

Because of this I ask you this one thing earnestly and honestly, I ask you to do this one thing not because it will help me but because it will help you. I ask you the following because it may make you happier in life and help you grow as a person. I ask you this because I'm a compassionate and empathetic person.

Please make an appointment to see your doctor. Ask for a referral to see a psychologist or psychiatrist. Tell your doctor you would someone to talk to. Go see the psychologist or psychiatrist, you can state that you don't think you need to be there, but tell them about the message boards, and forums. Explain your theories. Then follow instructions of the psychologist/psychiatrist.

Don't do this for me. Don't do this for anyone here. Don't do this for your husband. Do this for you.

You will be better for it.