Quote:
Originally Posted by dissentowner
I cried, then I called my parents and talked to them, then I slept on the couch in the room and watched tv and tried to ignore her. On the plane home she asked me to forgive her and I said I had to think. About two weeks later I said ok, lets make it work but she decided to start trying to date her friend instead. I contemplated suicide and might have followed through if not for my son. It was a bad time.
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I met a bunch of men in similar situations. All emotionally destroyed and suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. The only difference was they never got to see there kids and the courts would do nothing. Lawyers cost $$$ that these men couldn't afford. I got sucked in because I felt so bad for them and I got pretty angry. It's so hard and it wouldn't be if people weren't so selfish. (My simplistic view)
The best thing one can do is have a line and do not cross it. This limit will help you when you need to educate others on what you will tolerate. Open the communication. Write a letter. Have some coffees with them and tell them what you will and what you will not accept. If your parents are on your side then it makes it easier. Then in the family get togethers you only have to be cordial. Hello and good-bye. It's also a great way to set an example for your children.
I drew a line for a family member and she crossed it. Continuously. Because she wouldn't respect my boundaries I told her that our relationship is over. My decision has stuck and I still feel great about it. The best part is that almost the entire family understands!
Verbalize the boundaries and take care of your business.
I wish you nothing but happiness and success dissentowner.
As for the massive amount of gifts you ex sends. Space them out throughout the year. It will be a continuous positive surprise and show of affection for your son. Tell the ex that's what you doing though. Always be honest.