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Originally Posted by karl262
The sheer amount of uncouth your sister, brother in law and especially your ex has demonstrated is exceptional. Cut and run. I suggest telling those people that you no longer choose to have a relationship with them based on their actions. It doesn't have to be a big blow up fight or anything like that, just send an email or letter or whatever so they get the point, after which screen your calls, delete emails from them and RTS any post. They have to understand that there are negative consequences for their actions and they cannot impose family relationship as a free pass to treat you the way they have. Avoid any family gatherings where your ex, sister and brother in law will be there.
Just think of them as people you used to know.
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^ Despite everything that's happened so far that's a ####ty way to live.
Quote:
Originally Posted by photon
Make sure you take the bigger picture into consideration in whatever you do, you might want to cut all ties but will that be best for your kid? Will it create a situation that makes your parents choose, and you end up in a worse situation now?
Rather than the drama and finality of a "cut all ties" moment, you can do the exact same thing simply by prioritizing differently and reacting differently. If they contact you be polite, be reasonable, socialize if they ask and you think it's worth doing, but otherwise don't actively solicit interactions, don't follow what they're doing, etc. Just treat them how you'd treat a co-worker or a teacher at your kid's school; polite and sociable, but otherwise not really involved in their lives.
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^ Much better.
My brother and my Dad had a big falling out many years ago. The more time that passes, the wider the chasm between them and now a reconciliation is all but impossible. My Dad will never get to be a grandfather to his grandkids. Hasn't even met them, in fact. My brother didn't come to my wedding because my Dad would be there. That's the type of price you pay years down the road when you cut all ties.
EDIT: Just read the rest of the thread and events have taken their course. In that case I say #### 'em. Wait three months until they're on vacation and cause $50,000 worth of property damage to your former house. Remodeling the basement suite with a garden hose should do it.