[CaptainCrunch]

Now that you've done the first step (announced disassociation, you have to be prepared to live with the consequences). You are now whether its true or not the villain in this piece .

Trust me I know

first thing that usually happens is another family member decides to fix it and tries to get you in a room with the other party for the whole frank discussion.

If you stick to the separation concept and say, screw it, I ain't going, you will get totally blasted by the so called injured party. This is called trial in absentia

If you go, you will be treated as the villain because you cut them off while they will take the position that they tried to work things out. It might not be true, but you will be completely blamed for the entire situation.

At some point you will be emotionally blackmailed. Ie look at what its doing to your mother or father, you're making them stressed because of your selfish attitude and your pride. Trust me, this happens and its huge. Even if you go and talk to your parents constantly and they deny stress, this will be used against you and it will be horrible.

Finally, chances are the authority figure in the family mother or father will invite you out for a coffee and a frank talk. They will batter you and threaten you and try to appeal to you with the argument that its you that's tearing the family apart. The threats will be terrible, frankly my parents threatened to disassociate from me if I didn't sit down with my sister and make an attempt to bend and fix the relationship. I refused

The worst is the special holidays guilt trip that you're going to be hit with.

However I will state that if they are causing you this level of stress, if they are hurting you, then you have to decide what your breaking point is in making the effort to patch things up for the good of the family, and if its something that you actually want to do.

You've seen that this whole process has already started with the guilt phrase.

Prepare to jump on board the good ship SS you are a lousy family member and a jerk, you're destination is the Port on No Hope because you're splitting up your family and hurting everyone. Its a long and lonely trip that will either end with you dashed and broken on a rocky shore. Or you areabandoned on a island by yourself with a bottle of rum and a pistol with a single shot, and its up to you to decide if you want to leave that Island and move on or not.