Sounds like you really don't need to make an effort for your sister or brother in law.
From the sounds of it your parents are good people since they help raise your son, but they are really in a tight spot and I don't blame them for not wanting to pick sides. You have a fiance and another kid and are happy now, so why bother with the people who make you unhappy.
If you feel like going for coffee with your sister and brother in law from time to time then I would say go for it, but I wouldn't say that it would be something you should make an effort to do. Don't plan the coffee and don't call them, if they call you and ask to go then it's up to you to go if you want.
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