[Maritime Q-Scout]

I don't mean to be "that guy" but you're looking for a sounding board, and in order to make a full and informed decision (especially one that is so emotional) I think it's important to hear a viewpoint contrary to what you think is the right answer. Otherwise you wouldn't be asking right?

I'm going to ask a few questions, YOU DO NOT NEED TO ANSWER THEM HERE. I'm asking them for you, answer them yourself, we don't need to know. We really don't.

1. In your weekly coffees, have you discussed your ex with your sister and brother-in-law? Do they know how you feel about your ex, as in have you specifically told them?

I wouldn't want you to turn your back on your sister and brother-in-law because they thought that you were alright with the arrangement. (I'm not saying they think that, but your post didn't state otherwise).

2. Is your ex from Calgary (assuming that's where you are)? Are her parents in the area? What alternatives does she have for accommodations aside from your sister's? Next time you're talking to your sister you could explain (or talk to your parents and have them explain how you feel, it would probably be easiest for everyone).

3. What kind of relationship does your ex have with her child? Is she trying to repair that relationship? As difficult as it will be to hear this, I doubt you'll disagree, but your child's well being should be priority one.

4. Could you call them back and suggest a coffee place that is convenient for them, and say that you look forward to spending time with them, you understand that your ex is in town but if you can be displaced for her accommodation, couldn't they take an hour for coffee with you? Perhaps during a time that they wouldn't be spending with your ex anyway. This isn't worded well, it if you choose this option you'll need to be more tactful.


I don't know you, I don't know your sister, I don't know your ex, I don't know your child. Your sister might be the spawn of Satan. But I wouldn't want to see your relationship ruined due to a lack of communication (again I don't know if there is a lack of communication).

In additional to using anonymous posters here, also make use of friends, and family (if appropriate). Without getting into the result of what you're thinking, your parents would probably know your sister's thinking/personality and thought process in the situation.


Lastly, is there anything in writing regarding your use of the basement? Not that I'd recommend a legal recourse at this point.