I was in a situation some 5-6 years ago where I should have died. The trauma you feel afterwards is normal and talking about it does help.
Don't beat yourself up for making that trip and be thankful for the wise decisions that kept you alive. We can't change what happened but we can learn from it and take that forward. You are alive and that's all that counts.
Focus on what's important in your life, your wife and your kid. They will give you all the love and support you need to get through this.
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