Haha . . . wow, this is too funny! I read the OP and thought, did I somehow post this in my sleep? I'm currently in the process of doing the exact same thing for my son . . . right down to the red & yellow striped border. (also got the Kipper Fathead)
Same as you, I exhausted the 'Google search' avenue - I refused to believe there was nothing out there! In all my searching,
this was all I came up with (and wasn't really blown away by it)
I ended up finding some fabric that matches the 'jersey red', and we're just going to make our own curtains and bedding.