Ululani's Hawaiian Shaved ice in Lahiana is great, we went there almost every day!!!
The Luau in Lahiana was great too, if you go on your first day(s) might not be too late for kids with time change.....
Halelakela was very cold in the morning for sunrise....with kids you might just want to go mid day, could try a hike (if you think your 3 year old could manage).
We rented a GPS locally called Gypsy GPS, it was loaded with tours that guide you around the island and give history as you drive (had Haleakela, road to Hanna, south by Kihei, and North of Kaanapali too I think). If you rent a car, this can give you the tours at a low price.
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