Also, I would think that there is a proportional force argument here and a woman shoving you once and walking away doesn't necessitate you drilling her in the nose.
Now if she can over and started hitting you and wouldn't stop and you pushed her away and she fell down, that's a different story. No one is suggesting you should be allowed to be assaulted because it's a woman.
What they are saying is that being pushed gingerly by an old lady who then leaves you alone is not reason to hit her back.
To be clear, the same could be said about a male. You're basically only allowed to defend yourself with necessary force, not what you think they deserve.
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