Considering you're already waist deep in this thing, my first question would be what it would take to get out of this? The fact you're considering paying extra because the site might be too crappy to update yourself is a bit of a mind blower.
There are plenty of questions to ask, but they are generally important in the earlier stages of selecting a web designer.
As you're starting from scratch (again) I'd ask for a solid outline of every deliverable from conception, to launch, to post-launch. It seems odd that this even happened and I'm thinking you need to blow open the lines of communication here. Once your implicit desires weren't met the project should have come to a halt to address them in some way (either to put them in or adequately explain why they shouldn't be there).
While launching a site without looking at it on your computer was a bit of a misstep for you, I'm not sure what web designer doesn't provide flat images early on that give a 99% accurate "this is what your site will look like on the following devices". Perhaps he did and the final product just didn't match. Regardless, I would certainly ask for detailed outlines on how the final product is going to look across the board.
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