http://goodmenproject.com/ethics-val...ant-be-wanted/
This article made me wonder, how do other guys feel about this issue?
Quote:
The core issue is this: many, many men in our society feel they have to be needed, because they can’t imagine they could ever be wanted.
Being needed can take different forms, all of which resemble traditional male roles. Brave protector against danger. Breadwinning economic provider. Indispensable handyman. Problem-solving leader. We get any more macho stereotypes in here, it’s gonna look like a Village People reunion. This is what being masculine means in our culture: to be necessary.
One of the most common complaints about feminism, all the way back to the First Wave, is that feminism seeks to make men obsolete or unnecessary. “If women can [fill in anything about female agency] what will they need men for?” runs the line, in every decade, in response to every advance. And while nobody is arguing that that’s a legitimate criticism, it’s important to understand that it arises out of a real fear. Look at the key word in that sentence, need. It’s always the same concept, however that objection is phrased. Plan A, for men in our society, is to be necessary, to be needed, to be indispensable. There is no plan B. If plan A doesn’t come off, we are lost, we’re adrift, we have nothing. This is an existential fear, on a very deep level.
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As a personal version of this story, I remember my girlfriend telling me she saw me from a bus window thinking "what a cute guy" for a second before recognizing it was me. Obviously this was meant as a compliment. For reasons then unclear to me I however felt more irritated than anything, and was so convinced she was giving me obviously fake praise that I straight up told her I didn't believe her. Propably not the reaction she was aiming for.
Now, this was roughly 15 years ago and I've grown wiser since, but this story matches so well with my personal experiences and kind of still touches some deep insecurity, that I got curious about how other people feel about this.
Comments?