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MJK · 07-17-2013, 08:45 AM

With the sudden departure retirement of Ilya Kovalchuk from the CPHL, the Columbus Blue Jackets were left wondering WTF? A newly acquired Kovalchuk came over from the Colorado Avalanche and details are emerging now of just why he might have cut bait and bolted back to Russia after just being traded. In an interview with SKA St. Petersburg President Rusan ‘Pointy’ Pointman, Kovalchuk shed some light on what happened.

“I got trade from Colorado, a soft team where I didn’t have to work very hard” said Kovalchuk. “I didn’t have to skate, I could coast in my own zone, life was good as an Avalanche.”

Kovalchuk went on to explain how he also had grown fond of the late night dinner dates with Avalanche GM Swayze11 and knew life as a Jacket meant hard work, dedication and the shadow of playing with so much great talent. Swayze11 on the other hand is now under investigation by the CPHL.
Kovalchuk said: “I go to Columbus and see it is great there and they have very handsome GM but I know I can’t play there, handsome man is distracting, too good team and too hard work for me” Kovalchuk said. “Also GM said there was zero chance of dinner dates so that tells me I just can’t play there. I would rather go Russia where equipment is more see through and I might be able to catch a peek of teammate’s goodies. I sign 4 years Russia, that’s 4 years of fun time.”

When contacted about the sudden departure of Kovalchuk, GM MJK had this to say. “Kovalchuk can go f^ck himself”.

As a result of Kovalchuk’s retirement, the Jackets were left scrambling without a top line winger. Not one to wait around, MJK quickly got on the phone and called up St. Louis looking for a replacement. St. Louis were in a tight spot because they owed the jackets two 1st round picks in the 2014 draft so MJK put the pressure on and made a deal.

To Columbus
Marian Gaborik + $4mill

To St. Louis:
Andrew Ference + waive 1st owed by start of season + waive 1st owed by the 2014 draft.

“At the end of the day we are happy to bring a proven CPHL talent in Gaborik back to Columbus. We feel he can really contribute this season in the CPHL and will do our best to compete for the playoffs after missing it last year” said MJK.

“Oh, I would like to conclude by saying Kovalchuk can go f^ck himself”.

07-17-2013, 08:45 AM	#1
MJK Franchise Player Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: N/A Exp:	F^ck Kovalchuk With the sudden departure retirement of Ilya Kovalchuk from the CPHL, the Columbus Blue Jackets were left wondering WTF? A newly acquired Kovalchuk came over from the Colorado Avalanche and details are emerging now of just why he might have cut bait and bolted back to Russia after just being traded. In an interview with SKA St. Petersburg President Rusan ‘Pointy’ Pointman, Kovalchuk shed some light on what happened. “I got trade from Colorado, a soft team where I didn’t have to work very hard” said Kovalchuk. “I didn’t have to skate, I could coast in my own zone, life was good as an Avalanche.” Kovalchuk went on to explain how he also had grown fond of the late night dinner dates with Avalanche GM Swayze11 and knew life as a Jacket meant hard work, dedication and the shadow of playing with so much great talent. Swayze11 on the other hand is now under investigation by the CPHL. Kovalchuk said: “I go to Columbus and see it is great there and they have very handsome GM but I know I can’t play there, handsome man is distracting, too good team and too hard work for me” Kovalchuk said. “Also GM said there was zero chance of dinner dates so that tells me I just can’t play there. I would rather go Russia where equipment is more see through and I might be able to catch a peek of teammate’s goodies. I sign 4 years Russia, that’s 4 years of fun time.” When contacted about the sudden departure of Kovalchuk, GM MJK had this to say. “Kovalchuk can go f^ck himself”. As a result of Kovalchuk’s retirement, the Jackets were left scrambling without a top line winger. Not one to wait around, MJK quickly got on the phone and called up St. Louis looking for a replacement. St. Louis were in a tight spot because they owed the jackets two 1st round picks in the 2014 draft so MJK put the pressure on and made a deal. To Columbus Marian Gaborik + $4mill To St. Louis: Andrew Ference + waive 1st owed by start of season + waive 1st owed by the 2014 draft. “At the end of the day we are happy to bring a proven CPHL talent in Gaborik back to Columbus. We feel he can really contribute this season in the CPHL and will do our best to compete for the playoffs after missing it last year” said MJK. “Oh, I would like to conclude by saying Kovalchuk can go f^ck himself”.