Quote:
Originally Posted by pylon
I didn't say a frikkin word about it for a long time. At the time I didn't want the cops involved even though I did nothing wrong, I didn't even tell my girlfriend at the time. It was as simple as the second a woman accuses a man of rape, your life could be over even if you did nothing wrong. It was easier to just pay to fix my car, than have to deal with a total nutcase.
Now I look back at how absurd the whole scenario was, and laugh at it. But it was definitely not funny to me then.
I had a close friend of mine in a custody dispute, have an ex wife fabricate abuse claims against him to win custody, and win a massive alimony and child support claim. The son wanted nothing more than to be with his dad, and the mother couldn't stand that fact as she was a horrible, violent parent, so she pulled the abuse card against him. He used to come to my house hiding from her when she was flipping out, and she would come over and scream at him though my front door, and punch the crap out of him when he came out. He was too embarrassed to call the cops, and too worried to lose his son if he reported her. 9 years later his son is now 16, the mother abandoned him, and fled the country back to South America, and he finally got retribution in the fact he no longer has to support her. But she destroyed his life with a massive lie, and destroyed his reputation by accusing him of being a wife beater, when he never was. But the judge took her at her word. But the guy lost opportunities and and is the saddest, beat down by life person I know.
I am not defending for one second people that actually do rape women. And I am not saying that there are more false accusations than not. But being involved in such a bizarre scenario as a young man, and seeing what happened to my buddy definitely made me be extremely careful on how I have interacted with women over the years. And I will be honest, it made me a lot less trusting of them.
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And do you know why judges favor women in custody cases? Because patriarchal society claims that women are the gender better with children. Women get preferential treatment in those cases because the assumption, automatically, is that women's main goal in life is child-rearing, so they're better at it, so they should get the kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rubecube
I don't think anyone is discouraging people from protecting themselves, but it's shameful that women have to worry about what they wear, how much they drink, etc. The reality also is that these things are a factor in only a minority of sexual assault cases. It's ridiculous to expect women to be on guard at all times for sexual predators. The more reasonable approach is going after the predators themselves and trying to resolve the root of these issues.
The other issue with this is that it does lead to passive victim-blaming. Women shouldn't have to address what they were wearing, what they've consumed, etc. They just shouldn't get raped.
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When a guy gets too drunk, he might get a wang drawn on his face, or wake up in a puddle of his own vomit. If he's walking around without a shirt on in public, no one bats an eye. If a girl drinks too much she might get raped (and then blamed for it--she should have protected herself!), if she was showing too much cleavage or a little too much leg, she's asking for negative attention, etc.
...Just to clarify, I wasn't arguing against anything you said, Rubecube. Just fleshing the thought out farther.