Usually the time change is fine for my kids (3 & 7). We go to the islands a few times a year. Usually they are so worn out from the beach that they sleep no matter what.
I like staying in Kihei. There are lots of different beaches in the area, all with unique characteristics. Not sure which area your condo is, which might dictate your plans. We usually load up the car with all the beach stuff and drive, that way you don't have to be the mule. Polo beach is good for boogie boarding, Ulua beach good for snorkelling and exploring for critters in the pools. The Kam beaches are wide open and lots of space.
The kids love the ocean center, you can get a slight discount if you book in advance. We often get a week pass as staying there for more than a couple hours gets old for adults. If you go at the right time, they have guides who open up one of the pools which has more variety for "hands on" experience.
If you go to Lahaina, you may want to hit baby beach. Its a relaxing parenting beach, as there is no surf, so your kids can wander around in very shallow water and you can chill out.
Road to Hana is a cool experience, especially if the 7 pools are open for swimming (sometimes they close them off). The drive might be longish for your kids though.
Lots of places around Kihei for eating out. At least one day hit the Kihie Caffe for breakfast, then go to the park across the street to let the kids play a bit. Take in some of the little joints for fish tacos. Just my opinion but the little places are usually the best. The cinnamon bun place is cool for giant fresh morning treat.
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