[Crazy Bacon Legs]

This is truly admirable. Good for Darryl.

It reminds me of the time I was on a hike with some local inner city children and their farm animals (it's like 4H club except with hiking and mountain climbing). We were about three hours into a nine hour hike, when suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my chest.

I went briefly to one knee as pain radiated down my left arm and into my jaw. The children stopped and looked at me. "Are you okay?" one little sprite of a girl asked as she struggled to keep her llama form falling off a rocky outcropping. "Yeah, you look pale and are sweating a lot," said a small boy carrying his duck in a sack.

Now, I could have given in and just called off the hike. A helicopter could have whisked me away to the finest available hospital with one simple phone call. But I wouldn't allow it. But I'm a man. I don't let no pain or medical condition get in the way of MY farm animal hikes. "I'm... fine," I gasped, getting to my feet. I pulled on the rope that my muskox was attached to and directed the kids to gather their livestock and continue on. There was a lesson to be taught, and I intended to teach it.

We hiked the next six hours with me gasping for breath and almost passing out several times form the pain. Each step was agony. I had to carry the muskox for seventeen miles when it sprained an ankle. But I endured. There was an incident with a pig headbutting someone's goose, but that's to be expected. The rest is a blur, really. One child tried to call 9-1-1, but I threw her phone in the lake.

Finally, we reached our destination. I was dead set against even bothering with the hospital, but one of the children insisted when it looked like her emu was going to cry. It really is a strange club, to be honest.

Turns out over 40% of my heart died. The doctor said it was from "atherosclerosis" and "lack of immediate medical attention", but I like to think it was actually from pride: the pride of knowing I toughed it out against all odds, and showed all those kids and their animals the true meaning of hikes with livestock (and Christmas).

I also showed them what it takes to be a man. Except the girls. I guess I showed them what it takes to be a real woman, maybe? The point it, I am probably the best role model those poor kids could ever have. Except maybe for Darryl Sutter. That man is one tough SOB.