iTunes can have as much or as little control as you want it to have over your music. I just have it set to let me manage my music manually and I can have whatever kind of directory structure and file naming conventions I want. It's definitely not perfect, but every other music manager and player I've tried has had enough issues to keep me from switching.
And I agree, music management on Android is a bit of a mess, at least in my case where I'm using a Mac and a Nexus 4 without an SD card slot. Google Music would be great but I haven't been too impressed with the app itself and if you sync songs from the cloud they're unavailable to use in any other music app because they're buried and inaccessible.
I wouldn't mind dragging music over manually (it's what I used to do with iTunes because I have way more music than would ever fit on my iPhone) but from a Mac you have to use Android File Transfer which only works with my Nexus 4 about 25% of the time. I've done wireless transfers as well, but using a web browser based interface to manage thousands of files is hardly my idea of seamless.
And probably the biggest pain is if your library contains high bit rate or lossless stuff but you want smaller files for your phone. I looked for an automated way to do what iTunes does where it downsamples as it transfers but came up with nothing. So I had to convert everything to lower bit rate manually and now I basically have a clone of my music folder taking up 12GB on my computer's hard drive. Again, far from ideal.
I'm willing to live with all that because I like other things about Android and the Nexus devices, but Google really could stand to spruce up the usability of an OS that still feels like a work in progress.
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