Quote:
Originally Posted by Hockeyguy15
So about the eating thing, if it's a matter of cost and you are near Eau Claire I would be more than happy to buy you lunch.
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Thank you for your kindness, Hockeyguy15, I know the food bank is mere hours away and from what I understand they do offer rush care for emergency situations. This isn't healthy and I realize it.. though I do have experience with it. Even when I was working my eating has gone down to minimal levels. In a sick way it's almost prepared me for this horrible time.
I have reached out to my father, even though he is on the road (trucker), and I know he doesn't understand.. but he cares. I know I just need to tell him I need some financial help, but before I do so I want to explore some of these options.
Even telling my dad I have depression/anxiety will be extremely difficult. I'm also scared that if he were to just send money that I'd go and get some groceries and then knowing my physical health isn't in danger (I suppose that's debatable) not go through with seeing someone who can help.
I tend to avoid things. It's my coping thing.
I'm absolutely exhausted mentally and my body could use a rest as well. I have sent those emails out.. saved messages.. and have as much info saved/bookmarked.
I need to be up by 1:15 in the afternoon, I'm going to set my alarm and make sure I call the food bank.
This isn't something I feel good about dragging onto a hockey forum (realize there is much more here, of course) and the embarrassment hasn't set it fully. I know it will though. I'm also aware I have no reason to be embarrassed.. and help isn't a bad thing or something to be cast aside.
Thank you all for showing that humanity isn't that bad. It stills the tempest that is my mind.. even slightly, knowing that even if I feel alone--there are good thoughts in some shape or form out there.
*lets out a deep breath*
This will have to be settled.. I'm just glad I didn't freeze up and not post.