[CaptainCrunch]

please play this in the background at mid volume if you please



Welcome to today's services of the Holy Church of Kiprosoffarians.

And yes as we welcome new brothers and sisters to the congregation and we remind you to be most generous in filling that collection basket.

We read today from the Book of Exodus.

In the beginning there was the wasteland and the beginning of the great travel across the desert.

"But who will save us" cried the poor and the sick and the terrible disenfranchised. "Who will lead us from desolation to properity"

And onto that hill came the figure, the savior the prphet with quick feet and fast hands. And it was good.

And yesus he lead us across the desert, and he slain the Monsters, the Cheaters known as the Canucks, the Sand Sharks and the unholy Wings, and though his flock didith fall against the Great Enemy the Lightning weapon of Satan, we did rejoice, the journey was fruitful and the people were happy.

And whenith we did wither, and wondered why there were only one set of footsteps in the sand when the team struggled, it was becausith Kipper did carry the team and the fateful on his back. And the journey was hard.

And he did his work in quiet humility and strength and for 9 long turns of winter, Kipper often fought a individual battle against the evils of the Coyotes, the Senators the Panthers, the scum sucking Canucks and the pitiful Oilers.

And we stood by and gained strength and inspiration from his example.

You see Kipper didn't need to collapse the temples, or cast out the sinners, he merely needed to stand, a beacon of hope.

And though Kipper couldn't bring the final glory to the Flames and the fans, he fought in the pits of hell with his best to bring us there.

But as seasons change, Kipper began to grow weary and he heard the call of home.

And with this contest tonight we shall rejoice, and on bended knee thanketh the savior of the crease, for the call of home might overpower Kipper and he mighteth return to the dank Swamps of Finland to fight battles against Trolls and Dank Succubus.

"But do not cry, but rejoice" For whilst he might leave us, his spirit will live on in the hearts of the faithful and we mightith compare him to every future savior that comes on high.

And one day he willst rise again to the rafter so he can looketh down and smile for all of eternity.

May peace and the desparation kick save be unto you, goeth out tonight and celebrateth like its 2004 if not for one more time.

And when the final bell tolls, do not fear my faithful, for it does naught represent the end of days, but the new beginnings with the heart of Kipper in our memories forever and ever Amen.