[CaptainCrunch]

I can see the press conference now

Lowe walks up to the podium, looks down and his long combover hangs limply gently brushing the microphone. He looks up a single tear slides down his face as he pats his head.

Lowe - "I'm sad to announce that the canary in the cage has died today, I was forced to let go my friend and fall guy Steve-O Tambellini.

The crowd doesn't gasp with surprise. They're surprised to see Darryl Katz sitting in the corner of the interview room in his Oilers pajamas playing vigorously with his Kevin Loew and Mac-T action man figures. They look uncomfortable as Katz slowly licks the Lowe figure and mutters "My Prescious . . . nobodys takes my precious"

Anyways back to Lowe who has been smirking at the audience

Lowe - "That's right . . . like a Vipa, I made my move, it took some time for me to remove my hand from the hole in Tambellini's back. Now I have the arduous task of finding a replacement for my pupp . . . err pal Tambo. I'd like to announce that it was me Edmonton Oiler fans . . . . it was me all the time that was going to take over the role of acting GM"

Terry Jones mutters around the 7 donuts jammed into his maw "You son of a b%tch vi . . . . err Lowe"

Lowe - "Now chances are my best buddy Scott Howson is going to be the GM here and work with me hand in back"

Random Edmonton Reporter who's actually clever thinks of a headline "How Lowe?"

Lowe - "Or like a Vipa I could change my mind and name my good buddy Mac-T as the next GM"

Same reporter brainstorming "Lowemac?"

Lowe - "All you need to know is that as a Oiler great, I will never be fired . . . I could bugger a panda bear and I'm secure. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to prepare for the draft my going to 7-11 and picking up the Hockey News Future Star's edition"

Jones - "Mrrrgl" he starts chocking on the 12 inch deep fried sub that he crammed into his enormous mouth. He falls back and several reporters start to jump on his enormous body flipping in the air like kids on a trampoline.

Loew - "I'm outtie"